Make the choice…
As a child and obviously inexperienced when it came to love, I thought love was a feeling. As I grew up and started watching romantic comedies, love began to take on the definition romantic dinners, flowers, gifts, grandiose speeches or declarations of love, etc. Not until I got married did I realize that love is a CHOICE.
It seems that as time passes and the morals of the world diminish, many have given marriage and dating the same definition. When you’re dating someone, although it sounds bad, if you FEEL like it, you can just break up with them. The same seems to go for marriage these days. People marry because it feels like the right thing to do. And when the trouble starts, they divorce because they FEEL like. Or because it doesn’t FEEL the same anymore. BUT LOVE IS NOT A FEELING!!!
Jesus CHOSE to go to the cross because he LOVES us! Even when he felt like divorcing the plan to save the world (Luke 22:42), he chose to stay on the cross and die for us. And through that act came the gift of Salvation by grace! So, in choosing love you must choose grace!
Colossians 3:12-13 says, “12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” This scripture says to “clothe yourself” which means choosing to show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience towards others. Marriage is a union of two different people with different experiences, different upbringings, different pet peeves, different ideas and ideals, etc. Naturally, when you bring two different things together, their can be some differences. Imagine that?! In those moments when those differences surface, we must choose grace. We must choose to show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience towards each other the same way God does towards us!
After being married over 12 years, the definition of love has been made clear to me. When my husband and I have a disagreement (yes, we have those sometimes), I choose love. When I’ve upset him, he chooses love. When he’s upset me, I choose love. No…our marriage doesn’t feel like it used to when we first started dating. It feels better! It’s real. Nothing to hide. The masks have been taken off. We’ve seen each others hearts…and we love what we see! As my husband says to me now, “My love for you is independent of your love for me.” Meaning, no matter how you treat me, I will love you. Not only because God commands me too..but because I choose to.