Intimacy…Naked but Not Ashamed
What is it? According to Google’s definitions it’s a close familiarity or friendship; closeness, something of a personal or private nature. During my husband and I’s Bible study on intimacy, he made an excellent point. Jesus went to the cross so that God could experience the deepest intimacy with his creation. Even when we were not seeking God, he went to the cross because he loved us and sought relationship with us. The scriptures says, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.” So, even when the wife is not seeking or cultivating love towards her husband or when the desire for her husband has decreased, the husband still seeks after his wife and does what’s necessary in pursuit of her. What’s necessary may not always be comfortable…but enduring all that Christ endured and eventually dying on the cross was not comfortable for Christ.
Genesis 2:25 says, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Physically, everything about themselves was exposed yet they felt no need to cover anything up. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, and any other “ly”, we should make it our goal to reach that same place with our spouses. A place where acceptance and understanding are abundant and we feel no need to cover anything up.
With that being said, could it be that becoming truly intimate with your spouse may be uncomfortable initially. Many of us have been hurt by people and situations in our past and those hurts have caused us to shut off parts of ourselves or deny access to the depths of our hearts to our spouses. Past hurts may cause many to be afraid to experience their true thoughts and feelings for fear that they won’t be accepted or understood.
In an article that I recently read by Lori H. Gordon, it was stated that at the heart of intimacy is empathy, understanding, and compassion. People want to know that others feel what they feel. To reach a place of intimacy with our spouses we must begin to hear their hearts more then their words. Furthermore, we must choose to accept our spouses for who they are (ideals, experiences, dreams, etc.) instead of trying so desperately to mold them into our ideal. Instead, pray that GOD would mold them into his ideal because his ideal is more than ideal for us…it’s perfect! After all, he’s been striving for and made the ultimate sacrifice for intimacy with them (and us) much longer then we have and he sees those places that are hidden.
In addition, ask God to show you how you can deepen the intimacy within your marriage. AND…ask him to show you things that you may be doing or saying that are making intimacy difficult. As well as places within yourself that you may have denied your partner access to out of fear.
