Doubt Kills…Words Do Too!

I read a quote today that said, “Doubt kills more dreams than failure every will.” When reading that, obviously they are referring to one doubting themselves. BUT…could it be that the same statement could be made about spouses believing in each other?

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Unwholesome is defined as “not good for your health” and “not mentally or morally good or normal.” Are the words we speak to our spouse good for them mentally or morally? Unfortunately, many of us have stopped being our spouses biggest fans and we’ve become their biggest critics. Am I saying that we’re only allowed to tell them what they are doing right, never mentioning what needs improvement? NO! WITH GOD’S GUIDANCE AND PERMISSION, conversations concerning what needs to be improved need to happen within your marriage. When they are approached and facilitated properly with prayer, they can be good for their mental and moral health. BUT if all your spouse ever hears from you is criticism, there is something wrong with that picture.

The enemy, and often times several people in your spouse’s life, have made it their job to make their life as difficult as possible. We have to be a safe haven for them and use our words to build them up. Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,” We should encourage them in a way that creates a desire within them do greater things as well as to be better as individuals.

AND…please, please be sure that this is done in private as well as in public. I find it so unfortunate that when men or women get together, often times they spend more time bashing their spouses then bragging on them. OR, when couples are together they embarrass themselves and each other in the way that they verbally disrespect each other. Regardless of whose around and what others are saying, always be found speaking in love to or about your spouse. (Sidenote: Don’t forget the saying, “It’s not always what you say but how you say it.) Remember, Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Your conversation should benefit those who are listening. If your friends are hearing you talk about your spouse, the conversation should encourage them toward good deeds and words about and toward their own spouse.

So c’mon…lets stop being constant critics and start being fanatic fans of our spouses!!!